Cinderella 3: A Twist In Time – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
6^th February 2007

Running Time
1 hour and 10 minutes

Saccharine Factor
High

Funny Factor
High

Premise
When Anastasia discovers that Cinderella used magic to woo the Prince, she resolves to steal the Fairy Godmother’s wand to find her own happiness. However her mother steps in with bigger ambitions, leading to Cinderella’s happy ending being unwritten.

Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
26^th February 2002 (Direct to DVD)

Running Time
1 hour and 10 minutes.

Saccharine Factor
Very high

Funny Factor
Low.

Premise
Cinderella’s mice friends and the Fairy Godmother (who all appear to be freeloading in the King’s palace) decide to make a book of stories about Cinderella that happened after the proper story ended. Yes, it’s anthology film time again.

Cinderella – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
15^th February 1950 (Cinema)

Running Time
1 hour and 12 minutes

Saccharine Factor
High

Funny Factor
A notch above low.

Premise
Put-upon teen Cinderella has become a servant to her stepmother and stepsisters, finding company and solace only in the animals living in and around her house. When the local King decides to manipulate his son into marrying, he stages a grand ball and invites all the women in the kingdom along, but will Cinderella get there given her stepmother’s interference? (Yes, obviously)

Dinosaur – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
19^th May 2000

Running Time
1 hour & 18 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Medium

Funny Factor
Low

Premise
It’s the end of the world as they know it, but Aladar and his adoptive lemur family aren’t about to give up and die. Instead they end up with a herd of dinosaurs struggling to survive in the post-meteor struck Earth and reach the fabled nesting grounds.

Sleeping Beauty – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
29^th January 1959

Running Time
1 hour and 12 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Fairly high, but still tolerable

Funny Factor
Medium

Premise
When an evil witch curses the King and Queen’s newborn child, the three most useless fairies ever decide to step in and save the girl from her certain doom, by anonymously raising her in a forest.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame 2 – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
19^th March 2002

Running Time
1 hour and 3 minutes

Saccharine Factor
High

Funny Factor
Low

Premise
Notre Dame’s disfigured bell-ringer Quasimodo may be out living a less secluded life, but he’s still lonely. That is until he meets a magician’s assistant from travelling circus that’s come to town. But does she have ulterior motives for getting to know him? (spoilers: yes)

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
21^st June 1996

Running Time
1 hour and 29 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Low

Funny Factor
Low

Premise
Reclusive schizophrenic hunchback Quasimodo is kept in the belltower of Notre Dame cathedral by his master, Frollo, the puritanical judge of Paris, with only three talking grotesques for company. But when he catches sight of the gypsy Esmerelda at the Feast of Fools, he strays beyond his captivity and his master’s rule.

Fun & Fancy Free – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
27^th September 1947

Running Time
1 hour and 10 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Varies from medium to high

Funny Factor
Medium to low.

Premise
Jiminy Cricket introduces the story of Bongo the Wonder Bear and then hops across the road to eavesdrop on ventriloquist Edgar Bergen telling his dummies and a young girl the story of Mickey and the Beanstalk.

Kronk’s New Groove – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
13^th December 2005.

Running Time
1 hour and 11 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Medium

Funny Factor
Medium

Premise
Since the events of The Emperor’s New Groove, Kronk’s life is pretty good. He’s got a jobs as a chef, a delivery boy and a scout leader and everybody loves him. But he’s still worried his life isn’t good enough to impress his demanding father Papi, who happens to be coming for a visit.

The Emperor’s New Groove – The Cynic’s Survival Guide To Disney Animated Classics

Release date
15^th December 2000

Running Time
1 hour and 15 minutes

Saccharine Factor
Low

Funny Factor
Very high.

Premise
A vain and arrogant young emperor, Kuzco, decides to build a new pool-house right where peasant Pacha’s village happens to be. Before this can go ahead though, Kuzco’s duplicitous advisor, Yzma, turns him into a llama, forcing him to rely on Pacha’s help to return to the palace and normality.